Stories from the The Forum

The treatment center helped, even though her son still drinks

My son’s drinking had been escalating from the time he was 14. Slowly he started adding other substances to increase the feeling of intoxication.

When he was 17, he was arrested and charged with a felony. My husband and I knew we didn’t want to pay his bail to get him released. Two days later, my husband and I went on vacation.

Finally, it was arranged that our son would be released if he went to an inpatient treatment program, which he did. While he was there, my husband and I attended family week. We knew we needed help finding peace in our lives, but we thought it was only possible if our son was sober.

While we were attending some group sessions at the center, I kept hearing a counselor ask the patients, “Would your mom consider Al-Anon? Would your wife consider Al-Anon?”

During a break, the counselor shared with us that she was a member of Al-Anon. She said she had learned to live a peaceful life while both her homeless son and homeless daughter were actively drinking.

I couldn’t believe what she was saying, but I just started to have a suspicion that there was a chance I could be helped.

Our son was released from the center and I attended my first meeting two days later. Today I know a new peace and serenity despite the fact that my son continues to live an alcoholic lifestyle.

I like to tell people that my son’s stay at a 30-day treatment center didn’t have much effect on him, but it sure made a difference to me.

By Peggy J., Missouri
The Forum, July 2007

Hope is a great defense

Before I came to Al-Anon, my life was a mess. It was a mockery of the potential I had and an insult to my hopes and dreams. I had goals I wanted to achieve, but despite encouragement from teachers and friends, I couldn’t seem to overcome the diseased thinking I inherited from being born into the family dynamic of alcoholism.

The painful insults and verbal abuse I suffered during childhood still echoed the corridors of my self-esteem and impaired my ability to aspire to be all that God had intended.

Then I entered the humble rooms of Al-Anon. Through listening to the members’ stories, I learned I wasn’t alone. Suddenly I was connected to a community of courageous individuals who showed me that my painful childhood wasn’t a result of something I did wrong.

I also learned that the disease of alcoholism doesn’t discriminate. Eventually, the shame and guilt that was locked into the deepest fibers of my very essence began to fade. Shame and guilt could no longer dwell in the darkness of my confusion, because of the tools I learned in the program. I’m no longer a victim to my painful past. As a child, I didn’t have many choices, but I do have choices as a woman.

“One Day at a Time,” I set goals—no matter how small—and move closer to my aspirations of being a successful writer and someday a wife and mother. I “Keep It Simple” and do the next right thing, careful not to overwhelm myself. I “Let Go and Let God,” surrendering my need to control.

I understand that I didn’t cause my mother’s drinking, I couldn’t control it, and I couldn’t cure it. I was a child, powerless over the adults who ruled my world and powerless over a powerful disease. As an adult, I’m still powerless over alcoholism, but I’m no longer powerless over my decisions.

The Steps, slogans, and members have empowered me with the greatest defense of all—hope. Today I’m hopeful that I’ll achieve the life I always believed I deserved.

By Kelly-Ann, Massachusetts
The Forum, March 2007

The pain of self-deception, the joy of self-discovery

The truth was in front of me one Saturday afternoon after years of living in the disease of alcoholism. Revealing my pain and fear was a simple way to admit my life was out of control. A friend’s daughter was visiting and she told me about Al-Anon. Prior to that day, I had no idea what Al-Anon was or what it could offer me.

For years, I’d seen a church marquee that listed Al-Anon. I also knew where a meeting was held that very evening. Now I believe my Higher Power had been preparing me for that afternoon.

The Al-Anon members welcomed me with warm smiling faces. I discovered hope that evening. Not only did I see and hear hope, but the members showed me enough peace and serenity that I knew I wanted what they had. I also heard, “Mind my own business,” which I began putting into practice.

Long ago, I’d replaced being honest about who I was with stories about what I wanted other people to believe about me. As I continued attending meetings, I found a home group where I felt comfortable enough to trust other people. The Al-Anon tables were where I began getting honest with myself and started taking off my mask.

Through taking those baby steps, I learned about feelings and admitted how the disease affected me. Soon the heavy burden began lifting from my shoulders and I, too, was looking at my life differently.

I truly believe that through working the Al-Anon Steps, having a supportive Sponsor, developing a closer relationship with my Higher Power, and getting involved in service, I was able to replace the mask with the real me. I’ve found happiness I never believed could exist.

Al-Anon is a program that has given me a life. I’ve discovered the real me—the one who is willing to take risks and dream again. I’m grateful for everyone who has offered the hand of unconditional love. Now I can give back what has been given to me.

By Nancy B., South Carolina
The Forum, February 2007

Privacy Statement